Thursday, April 29, 2010

Oh no you never let go, you never give up

hey all.

Its only been a few days since the last time I blogged but God has been working in the last couple of days since I've last written.

It may not seem like much to many of you but I currently now have 5.25% of the $4000 dollars I need for the trip. (you can get out your calculators and do the math if you'd like... or I can just tell you that it comes out to be right around $200). And even if this percentage seems small, it really is a large number compared to the 0% I had just 5 days ago- that alone is amazing. I was so doubtful at first and still feel the doubt here and there when I talk to other teammates and they tell me the amount of funds they've receiver or the number of letters they have sent out to supporters. Even still, through my doubt I feel extremely blessed every time I take the trip past the mailboxes and see that I have received mail. When I do doubt my abilities to actually collect a total of $4000 in just a little over 2 months, and feel discourage by others gains, the little voice in the back of my head reminds me that God works in his own way, in unique ways for each person, and that just because my numbers are not as large as others at the moment doesn't mean that he isn't providing or won't provide for me.

I am always touched by the letters that find there way back to my mailbox where they were just sent from a week ago; it is within these letters that I am reminded how much God is providing for me already and promises to continue to provide for me with every letter that contains a prayer commitment response. God is really out to prove me wrong in my doubting with every letter I receive, and He has for sure been one upping me and my doubt this week by amazing me constantly. It never ceases to amaze me how he can take something so negative and turn it good. I have been doubting His abilities and lacking trust and yet He still cares enough to make sure He proves me wrong in my doubting and make it apparent to me that I shouldn't have any reason to doubt him or not trust Him. He is going to provide even if I don't trust in Him because His love and commitment is far larger than mine will ever be even at 100%. This is what continues to amaze me.

So, I will continue to wait and be patient. I will continue to remind myself that even if I begin to doubt I know He will provide because that is what He does, and that this process is all for my good. It's all on his schedule and though I would like to know exactly when everything is going to happen, I know this will not be the case, and so I will continue to pray for the trip and for the people I have asked to help support me, and for an open heart for whatever may come in the mail next.

I want to say thank you again to everyone who has been praying for me and this trip. Your prayers mean more to mean than you can understand. Thank you all who read this blog and put up with all my rambling, and occasional spelling mistakes, there is a reason I am a pharmacy major :) And of course thank you all who have contributed toward the $4000 I need for this trip!

For those of you who would like to know, there is approximately 67 days left till departure!
So much to get done, and so little time!

I believe that is all for now.

Love,
Court


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